Saturday, April 19, 2014

OK so I missed a few...

Here's one for today:

First the worst
Second the best
Third the monkey in the vest
with the hairy chest.

And I am always third.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

NaPoWriMo:another one

I've been away for a few days so I thought I'd write another one:

Someone once said to me:
'get stuffed'.
I said:
'I already have been'.
With plastic pellets
and all new polyester fibre.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

The last one?

The monkey roared
again.
I'm bored
again.
And became all temperamental
when asked to write
another poem.
Will he ever write again?
Only the monkey knows.

This is really getting very silly.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

NaPoWriMo #8

I was in London today at the NPG
My feet are tired
and my eyes are red.
One more banana
and I'll be ready for my bed.
One thing though
before I go...
the NPG seems to be missing a portrait.
MINE.



Monday, April 7, 2014

NaPoWriMo #7: each set sold separately

#7. That means a whole week of poems. Here's one for today.

Today,
I have watched
(it seems) hundreds and thousands of TV ads for toys.
And I wonder,
how can anyone say:
'each set sold separately'
so fast?
You try:
'each set sold separately'
faster:
'each set shold separately'
not fast enough:
'each shet shold seprately'.
See what I mean?

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Saturday, April 5, 2014

NaPoWriMo #5: the banana crisis

I read about the impending banana crisis today. I am concerned.

Banana plants, banana plants, please don't die
We've got to work together to fight the TR4 fungi
Don't give in
You have to win
Bananas
Forever.

Friday, April 4, 2014

NaPoWriMo #4

I often go to Asda on a Friday...

There's someone I see in the supermarket
who fascinates me.
She has peach poodle hair,
black, black eye make-up
and heavily mascara-ed lashes.
A beige pleated crimplene skirt swings high
above her stilettos,
and metal framed spectacles
perch on her powdered nose.
She smells of old fashioned perfume.
Cloying and acrid and powdery
it hits the back of your throat.
She's fab.
I call her the 'Poodle Woman'.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

NaPoWriMo #3

Number 3. And getting worse.

A is for ape
B is for bananas
M is for muesli and
S is for sultanas

And that is exactly how I like my sultanas.
Picked fresh out of a pack of muesli.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

NaPoWriMo #2

Here's number 2. Thought I better do two poems today to make up for having only started today and missed yesterday.

I am an ape known as Vince the Velvet Monkey
You can see from my photo that I'm actually quite funky
I tried writing my blog
Balancing on a log
But fell off 'cos my bottom's quite chunky.





NaPoWriMo 2014

I'm back. I have been inspired to write a poem a day for the whole of April. For National Poetry Writing Month. That's 30 poems. And I'm already a day late. I have a feeling my poems may be rather silly and may feature a lot of bananas, but hey, I'm a monkey.

First one for 1 April:

I may love bananas, but
Bananas do not love me
Because I EAT THEM!