Silly Philly and Cows and CHOCOLATE

I promised you chocolate reviews and here's a start. Even I can only eat so much chocolate at once.

Chocolate Philadelphia. Why on earth would you mix perfectly good chocolate with cream cheese? Decided to try it anyway as people kept going on about it. It's disgusting. Absolutely horrid. Do not buy this stuff. The advert says it all:

Moving on. The Milky Bar cow paid me a visit this Easter. Here I am dressed up in the cow disguise. This is nice. Sweet, creamy and white. Yum. Highly recommended. Goes well with a coffee and a banana. Like the wrapping too.

I found no less than three tokens for 50p off this next chocolate, so I had to try it. The paper wrapping has a fab design too. It's Divine Dark Chocolate with Raspberry. This is 70% Dark Chocolate. I don't normally like chocolate with things added to it. Why ruin perfectly good chocolate? However, this is quite nice. If you've got a 50p off voucher, treat yourself to a bar.

What would I never, ever eat? Any kind of chocolate with any kind of orange added to it. I feel sick thinking about it. I am a discerning monkey and do not just eat chocolate for the sake of it. It has to be good chocolate. I'm going for a long walk. More chocolate reviews when I've walked off this lot. Monkey out.

A Hippo, a Koala Bear and a Pickled Onion Tree

I have a mate called Sam. We make up the best stories together. I thought I should start writing them down.

A small koala bear had recently arrived from Australia. He had fallen into this crazy world where hippos say 'heeeep' a lot and grow pickled onion trees. The small koala bear said some bad words to the hippo and he was locked into a prison truck and driven away by a monkey. The hippo went back to looking after his pickled onion tree. He liked drinking the juice of the pickled onions especially when he added Smarties. After a while the koala bear apologised for what he had said and he was allowed out of the prison truck.

Get stuffed

So, Damien Hirst has a retrospective at the Tate Modern. I was tempted, but then I read a review of the exhibition written by his final degree show examiner. And maybe not. I saw Damien's early stuff at an exhibition at the Serpentine in the early 90s (yes I am really that old) and it was good, really good. It came up and grabbed me and made me laugh. And I want to remember this and not have to look at a decaying cows head covered in blood and flies or a skull covered in diamonds. That does not grab me or make me laugh. So I am not going.

But I did go to Bristol Museum this week. People have been stuffing animals for a long time. Amazing display.

That's me and my new hero - Alfred the Gorilla

Chimp from a different angle

The Dead Bee (thanks Sam)

Try a different angle

Il y a des fleurs partout pour qui veut bien les voir. Nice one Henri (Matisse). And yes I do know what it means. For those of you who don't: there are flowers everywhere if you want to see them. Go and find them. You don't need to go anywhere special, just look at things from a different angle. And take lots of photos.