NaPoWriMo #2

Here's number 2. Thought I better do two poems today to make up for having only started today and missed yesterday.

I am an ape known as Vince the Velvet Monkey
You can see from my photo that I'm actually quite funky
I tried writing my blog
Balancing on a log
But fell off 'cos my bottom's quite chunky.

My Christmas Tree

Shock horror. Yes I do have a job. And occasionally it does seem to include stop frame animation.

Me eating a banana

At last, I've starred in my first stop frame animation.

Story Time: Fats and the Helter Skelter

The last one. Hope they made you laugh. We had fun making them up.



One sunny day, Buttons, Fats and Harry decided to go to the playground. Their favourite playground – the one with the long, curly slide. They packed some snacks and drinks and set off. When they arrived they climbed to the top of the long, curly tube slide. It took a long time as there were a lot of steps…the top of the slide was nice and high. Harry went down first, then Buttons, then Fats. Buttons and Harry waited ages at the bottom of the slide but there was no sign of Fats. Buttons put his head in the slide and shouted ‘Fats! Fats!’ There was muffled reply ‘ I’m stuck’.

Fats sounded a bit upset so Buttons and Harry decided they should try and help him out. They climbed back up to the top of the slide and slid down again to try and push Fats out. It didn’t work. No matter how fast they slid down and bumped into Fats, he stayed stuck. ‘I’m hungry’ said Fats in his muffled voice. They decided that Fats should not have anything to eat in case he got more stuck.

It was getting late when Buttons suddenly had an idea. If they could make the slide really slippery then perhaps Fats would just slip out. Harry and Buttons remembered the butter in the sandwiches that they had brought with them. Butter makes things slippery. They took turns climbing into the slide and rubbing the butter all over the inside of the slide. When they had finished, they went back to the top and slid down really fast. They both crashed into Fats and he started to move until POP! They all tumbled out of the end of the slide and fell in a heap at the bottom. They laughed and laughed and then went home for a hot bath to wash off the sticky, slippery butter.

Story Time: Sweet Dreams

One night when Buttons went to bed he fell into a deep sleep more quickly than usual. Suddenly he woke up and sat bolt upright in bed. He’d been dreaming that there was a dummy knocking on his bedroom door and as it rushed into his bedroom (dummies can move in dreams) he woke up. Now he was awake, the dummy had gone but he could still hear a strange knocking at the door. Buttons was scared and pulled the duvet around him more closely.

The door opened and it was FATS. Fats told Buttons that he’d been dreaming about a dummy knocking on his bedroom door. ‘Strange’ said Buttons, that’s what I was dreaming about. They both snuggled under the duvet and were just beginning to feel cosy and safe when there was another knock at the door. Buttons and Fats clung tightly to each other.

The door opened. This time it was Harry. Harry began to tell them about his dream. ‘That’s exactly the same dream we had’ said Buttons and Fats together. Harry scrambled under the duvet and the three friends snuggled up together. But then, there was another knock at the door. Eeeeeeek. Who could it be this time?

The door was flung open and there was the dummy again moving towards them. Buttons yelled and sat up in bed wide awake. He threw his pillow at the door. But the dummy had gone and the pillow hit his dad on the head as he was coming in to check Buttons was OK. Harry and Fats has disappeared. Buttons pinched himself to make sure he really was awake (he was because the pinch hurt) then he told his dad all about the dream.

Story Time: Buttons sleeps on

It was Christmas Eve and Buttons was very excited. But he was also so, so tired. Buttons had stayed up really late to go out for a delicious Christmas Eve pizza with Fats and Harry. They’d all eaten crispy cheleb pizza with extra pepparoni and cheese and a big bowl of pickled onions. Yum. And then they’d finished off with strawberry and sticky marshmallow ice cream. Even Fats felt full after that lot.

Buttons had a bubble bath and felt even sleepier – he could hardly keep his eyes open. He snuggled down under his duvet and fell fast asleep. He slept all night and all the next day. When he finally woke up on what he thought was Christmas Day, he was so disappointed when he went downstairs and saw that all the presents under the tree had been opened. He ran upstairs…what was going on? Then he realised what had happened. He couldn’t believe it. How could he have slept through the whole of Christmas Day? And Christmas lunch? And all the presents being opened? Buttons felt very sad and began to cry. Just then, the doorbell rang. It was Harry. He had a large parcel with him. ‘This is for you’ he said. He’d saved a present specially for Buttons. Buttons was so pleased he gave Harry the most enormous hug and almost knocked him over. ‘Heeeeeeep’ said Buttons, ‘thank you’. Then they all sat down to a special Boxing Day lunch.

Buttons made his mind up that he would always go to bed early on Christmas Eve and never miss Christmas Day again.

Story Time: The Swamp

One warm, sunny day, Buttons and Harry decided to go for a picnic to the swamp. They packed a picnic with extra marshmallows, rubbed in lots of sun cream and set off. They went past Fats’ house on the way and called for him to join them. Off they went down to the swamp. They had a fantastic time sliding down the mud bank into the cool, muddy swamp. Fats made the most ginormous SPLASH when he hit the muddy water.

After they had finished off their picnic, they lay down in the sun to sunbathe. After a few hours they woke up and found that Fats, who was still asleep, had a very red, sunburnt bottom. They woke him up. ‘Heeeeeeeep’ howled Fats, ‘I forgot to put any sunscreen on and my bottom feels like it’s on fire’. Harry and Buttons held Fats over the swamp so that he could cool his bottom down. Then they walked home. Very slowly. With Fats moaning all the way. When they got home Buttons and Harry covered Fats’ bottom in soothing cream and put him to bed with an ice pack.

Story Time: The Robot

I told you there'd be more stories, just taken me a while to get them down. Like buses. Suddenly they all come at once.


It was a cold, rainy day. Just the sort of day for messing about and making stuff. Buttons and Fats decided to try making a robot. One that worked. They wandered into the garage to see if they could find some robot making stuff, but they only found a few bits of black wire that looked like liquorice and a battery that had run out of power. They decided they needed some more kit.

Buttons and Fats decided to use some of their pocket money to buy a kit like the one they’d seen in the shops. Buttons’ mum helped them to order a kit online, but they had to wait more than two weeks for it to arrive.

When it finally arrived they were so excited. They took all the bits out of the box and started to build the robot. But there was a bit missing. They needed an old drinks can for the robot’s body. Fats found an empty one under his bed and they finished the robot. It was great. It trundled all round the house on its little wheels and went up and down the slide when they took it to the park. They watched as the robot climbed to the top of the climbing wall and suddenly took off – it was flying. ‘I didn’t know the robot could do that’ said Fats sounding surprised.

That wasn’t the only thing they didn’t know about the robot. When they took it home it made itself a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallow and sat there drinking it through a straw. When Buttons asked the robot if it would make some for them, it did, but only when they remembered to say ‘please’.

It was getting towards bedtime and the robot started to get slower and slower. Buttons made a little bed for it in its box and it closed its eyes and fell fast asleep, snoring gently.

View from a bus

And so, here it is: View from a Bus. Quite a lot of views actually. Things I learnt from the experiment: buses are erratic, they move fast, brake heavily and pull away just as you've framed the perfect shot. This calls for a fast assessment of each photo opportunity and an equally fast frame and shoot. Or the moment has passed as the bus moves on. Good fun and highly addictive as you see so much stuff from a bus. And annoying when you see a picture that you can't take 'cos you're moving to fast. 

My shots are what they are, some of the blurring caused by the bus moving actually made for a interesting result. The sequence starts with a video of me on the bus to show how a bus moves (in case you have never been on a bus - you'd be surprised...) I'm not going to put any commentary on the shots this time, just see what you make of them. My favourites are the wall-builders and the girl with the red trousers.

Excitement at Ikea

I have never been to Ikea before. Can't really see what all the fuss is about. Although I did like the cinnamon bun and the rug department. 

Close encounter with a cinnamon bun

Me and my reflection

My first rug

My second rug. Love the texture.

A wonderful pile of rugs. I told you I liked the rug section. And the colour. Banana.

Rug number 4.

My favourite rug. Number 5.

Detail of texture and colour on number 5.

Some good colour down in the lighting department.

More colour.

I did not get lost. Luckily.

My trolley. And my fish ice-cube tray.

Quiet please.

I'm working.

By the way. I am going to IKEA on Thursday. Am so excited. 

Want a Scrap?

I love wandering about scrap yards. Taking photos. Trying to avoid being eaten by stray cats. I will be going  back again as a car wash has opened in one of the sheds. Furnished with scrap. An amazing place. 

Make your way to the bottom of the photos to watch a couple of my road movies - soundtrack by the Ozark Mountain Daredevils. Enjoy.

  

Monkeying around

This little guy plays the drum. He can't stop. He lives in a china cabinet with some strange characters who really annoy him. We are planning his escape.

Green & Blacks

Time to lay bare my Green&Blacks addiction. OK, OK, that's a lot of chocolate, but I took advantage of a number of offers on G&B this week. My favourite G&B has to be the 34% milk chocolate (blue one - not to be confused with the light blue one which is the creamy milk which is also good). Then there's the milk chocolate combined with almonds, butterscotch, raisin and hazelnut...all yummy. I also like the dark chocolate offerings, but it's not my favourite dark chocolate. That would be Lindt 70%. I could just finish this now by saying that I like them all and pointing you in the direction of their website. But I won't 'cos there are some that I hate. Maya Gold. Bleugh. Someone put orange with chocolate again. And the Dark 85% is too dark for me. Like eating brown plastic. Green&Blacks. Mostly yum. And it's all fairtrade.

Now to my hiding places. Think this looks like a normal box of teabags?

No, it's my hiding place for, er, more chocolate. This is kept on a high shelf out of reach. In disguise.

What am I going to do now? A nice piece from the blue bar. And a cup of tea (that's not PG Tips).

Biting the Bunny

Mmmmm. Watch out bunnies, I'm going to bite your heads off.

Lindt chocolate bunnies taste so good. But then so does most Lindt chocolate. Here's my handy summary for you:

Lindt Gold Choc Bunny: yum
Milk Choc: divine
Milk Choc with Caramel: divine and crunchy
70% Dark Choc: my staple (it has lots of those flavonoid things so it is really good for you)
70% Mild Dark Choc: hard to find but a very fine variation on 70% Dark Choc
Dark Choc with Caramel: oh boy
Red Lindor Chocolates: words fail me...the other colours of Lindor just do not compare - stick to red

Lindt have added a lot of new flavours to their dark chocolate range, but as I said before - why add things to perfectly good chocolate? Except for caramel or nuts or raisins. Wasabi? Don't be daft - this is something you put on sushi.

Last week one of my regular chocolate suppliers brought me some M&S milk chocolate with salted caramel almonds to try. Rather good. But those bits do get stuck in your teeth.

Enough chocolate for now. Monkey out.

Silly Philly and Cows and CHOCOLATE

I promised you chocolate reviews and here's a start. Even I can only eat so much chocolate at once.

Chocolate Philadelphia. Why on earth would you mix perfectly good chocolate with cream cheese? Decided to try it anyway as people kept going on about it. It's disgusting. Absolutely horrid. Do not buy this stuff. The advert says it all:

Moving on. The Milky Bar cow paid me a visit this Easter. Here I am dressed up in the cow disguise. This is nice. Sweet, creamy and white. Yum. Highly recommended. Goes well with a coffee and a banana. Like the wrapping too.

I found no less than three tokens for 50p off this next chocolate, so I had to try it. The paper wrapping has a fab design too. It's Divine Dark Chocolate with Raspberry. This is 70% Dark Chocolate. I don't normally like chocolate with things added to it. Why ruin perfectly good chocolate? However, this is quite nice. If you've got a 50p off voucher, treat yourself to a bar.

What would I never, ever eat? Any kind of chocolate with any kind of orange added to it. I feel sick thinking about it. I am a discerning monkey and do not just eat chocolate for the sake of it. It has to be good chocolate. I'm going for a long walk. More chocolate reviews when I've walked off this lot. Monkey out.

Behind bars?

No, not funny. Not the remotest bit funny.

Let me out NOW.

OK, here I am...