Behind bars?

No, not funny. Not the remotest bit funny.

Let me out NOW.

...and the other one

JUST TAKE ME TO THE HOCKNEY EXHIBITION!!

Water pictures

Today I was feeling a bit inspired by the swimming pool pictures of David Hockney. Here are the results...

Messing about

Today has been a wonderful messing about kind of day.

PS Saw some of these in the summer...check out: http://bristolgorillas.co.uk/index.php/the-gorillas

Sunny Day

It's a lovely, sunny day and I'm going for a walk on my very short legs. Question is: will I make the cake shop before they sell out?

Mine all mine.

Bagels

I do like a nice cinnamon and raisin bagel. Distribution of fruit much better. Nice one Asda.

Exploding whale on lorry

What more can I say.

Lang mae yer lum reek

Here I am, piping in the haggis. Enjoyed mine with neeps, chips and tomato ketchup. Yum.

A wet day

Much too wet for a monkey to venture out today. I enjoyed the day tucked up on the sofa with a large bunch of bananas, a bar of Green&Blacks (creamy milk) and my box set of Carry On films. Bliss.

I don't usually accept payment for advertising, but as I'm saving for my bus fare to London, the tenner will come in handy. Check out my lodger's website: http://oisd.brookes.ac.uk/

Trying to get to the Royal Academy

I have just discovered that there is a David Hockney exhibition at the Royal Academy in London - and monkeys get in free (well it doesn't actually say that they do, but it doesn't say that they don't). Please, please can someone take me....

My hero Wayne

...and my hero is: Wayne Hemingway. Why? He's a great designer and he's from Morecambe.

Have a look round his website and see why he's my hero. http://www.hemingwaydesign.co.uk/

Plastic Man

Dummies are spooky, they make my fur stand on end. Here is Plastic Man. Check out the song at:  http://www.lyricstime.com/the-kinks-plastic-man-lyrics.html

Hot X buns

I have found that the distribution of raisins and sultanas in Asda hot X buns is not consistent. Delicious anyway, as all the fruit was in my half. Hee hee.

I found the bananas

...and just in the nick of time. Some of us had broccoli and stilton soup for lunch. Disgusting, my mouth feels like an old cabbage. Nothing a nice bananito can't cure.

Monkey

I've got to hand it to you Monkey, great video. Check out: https://www.facebook.com/PGtips

The steam mop

What's that hissing thing on a stick? Is it any good for cleaning monkey fur? Hang on that feels hot and wet. Keep it away, I'll stay mucky. Couldn't you have bought something useful like bananas?

OK, here I am...

Just who is Velvet Monkey?

You really want to know? I'm a monkey made of the finest black velvet. I came free with some hair gel. Yes, yes, I know you get monkeys free with teabags all the time but they are common. I am a rare thing - not even a google search can find me. A picture? Yes I will be putting a picture up once I get the lighting right. Things I like doing? That's easy...I like shelves, imagination, travelling, eating bananas, photography, art (Van Gogh obviously, but also David Hockney and Rousseau) and just being me, Vince the Velvet Monkey.

Finally here I am, Velvet Monkey

Finally Velvet Monkey has a voice. I've been waiting a long time. I had to agree to share my blog with the human as my paws find keyboards difficult.